Elizabeth, age 34, tells how she came to understand mediation
“Go and see Crowther Mediation!!” my good friend Anna shouted at me after several glasses of wine! I think she was probably just fed up with me ranting about my situation for endless hours. Because your friends and family are great for support, but sometimes you need to call the professionals in. And, more importantly, your friends and family are on your side and want the best for you, so will agree with everything you say. Sometimes you need a different, and more objective perspective.
When I first met Crowther Mediation, I literally couldn’t see the wood for the trees! I’d had six months of horrific arguments with my hopefully soon to be ex-husband, predominantly over the kids, but also about finances. We split up at Christmas and at first it was quite amicable. For the sake of the kids (we have 2 daughters aged 4 and 6), we both wanted to ensure that they didn’t suffer as the breakdown of the marriage was nothing to do with either of them and we certainly didn’t want them to think that. My husband moved out of the marital home into a nearby flat and we continued to meet regularly for pizzas and Sunday lunches. It all felt very grown up and adult until about the 6 month mark when we started arguing about money and how to split the assets – in particular the house. Neither of us could afford to buy the other spouse out and neither of us wanted to ‘let go’ of what had become our family home. In hindsight I suspect that was because we were psychologically trying to come to terms with the failure of the marriage which neither of us expected to happen when we entered into it and shared our vows.
It became very bad, very quickly and the level and quantity of often quite aggressive arguments became increasingly stressful and started impacting my work. In short, I was a mess! Enter Crowther Mediation who calmly and objectively helped us both to communicate properly with each other allowing us to see both sides of the arguments as well as helping us understand each other’s perspectives. Finally, we could see both the wood AND the trees. We very quickly realised that the most important people in our lives – our kids – should be the focus of every decision we needed to make moving forward.
I have no doubt that Crowther Mediation saved us loads of money, time and stress. It was an amazing alternative to ending up in Court.