What is Child Inclusive Mediation?
Child-inclusive mediation gives children a safe, neutral space to express their wishes and feelings during parental separation. This case study shows how involving a child directly in the mediation process led to a breakthrough for one family – avoiding further court action and improving communication between parents.
When communication breaks down
Meet Mr and Mrs P. They had been successfully co-parenting their eleven year old daughter for over eight years, until they found themselves in court proceedings with no resolution in sight.
Mr and Mrs P live 400 miles apart because of Mr P’s military job. Their daughter spent one weekend a month with him, plus extra time during holidays. In the summer of 2020, their daughter – let’s call her ‘G’ – was having a great time with her dad. He asked if she wanted to stay longer, and, without thinking about the bigger picture, she said yes.
Later that evening, G overheard her parents arguing on the phone. Her mum had made plans for the last week of the holidays and expected her back. G felt anxious and worried her mother would be angry, so she told her father she didn’t want to go home. She was so upset that he asked her if she wanted to live with him – and she said yes.
This situation escalated to the point where one parent applied to the court for a Child Arrangements Order. Before the court process progressed further, the family were referred to family mediation to explore whether an agreement could be reached outside of court.
The emotional impact on the child
It became clear early on that their daughter was feeling caught in the middle. She struggled to express her worries to either parent directly and felt responsible for keeping the peace.
This emotional weight was affecting her confidence, daily routines and overall stability. The parents agreed that giving her a safe opportunity to share her voice with an impartial professional could be beneficial.
How Child Inclusive Mediation worked
A child consultation (child-inclusive mediation session) was arranged. This allowed their daughter to speak privately with one of our highly trained mediators, in a calm, child-led environment.
During the session, she shared:
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Her desire for consistent communication between her parents
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The importance of clear routines
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Her emotional worries about being caught between them
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Her hope that they could work better together “as a team”
The mediator then fed back these key themes to the parents – with the child’s permission – ensuring her voice was heard without placing pressure on her. For more information about the types of questions our mediator may ask a child, read out latest blog: What questions does a mediator ask a child?
Outcome and resolution
Hearing their daughter’s feelings in a safe, structured way was a turning point for both parents. Her father commented: “I’m just so relieved to hear she’s happy”.
As a result of the child inclusive mediation process:
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The court application was withdrawn
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The parents agreed on a clear communication plan
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Consistent routines were established
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The daughter felt listened to, supported and less anxious
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Both parents committed to improving cooperation for her benefit
This case highlights how a child’s voice – expressed appropriately through a trained mediator – can positively shape outcomes and reduce conflict.
So what’s the moral of the story? Good communication BETWEEN BOTH PARENTS is the key to successful co-parenting.
Are you considering Child Inclusive Mediation?
At Crowther Mediation, our trained mediators provide a safe, neutral and supportive environment for children to share their thoughts when appropriate. We ensure their voice informs the discussion, without placing them under pressure or making them decide.
Learn more about our services:
If you feel child-inclusive mediation could help your family, or you would like guidance on navigating communication challenges, we’re here to help.
Get in touch today to arrange an initial consultation.
