Divorce can be a stressful and emotional experience. For many couples, mediation offers a less confrontational, more cost-effective alternative to court proceedings. But do you need a mediator for divorce? What happens in mediation, and is it mandatory?
In this guide, we’ll answer some of the most common questions about divorce mediation in the UK, including how it works, how long it takes, what it costs, and whether it’s the right path for your situation.
What is Mediation in Divorce?
Divorce mediation is a structured process where a trained, neutral family mediator helps separating couples resolve disputes—typically around finances, property, or child arrangements—without going to court.
In the UK, mediation is often the first step before applying to court. You are usually required to attend a MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting) before issuing court proceedings, unless you’re exempt.
During the MIAM, the mediator explains the process and assesses whether mediation is suitable. If one or both parties are not willing or suitable to proceed (e.g. in cases involving domestic abuse), the mediator can sign a certificate allowing you to proceed to court. You can learn more about this in our guide on mediation and domestic abuse.
Do I have to go to Mediation before Divorce?
You’re not legally required to mediate, but you do have to consider mediation by attending a MIAM before most family court applications.
Mediation is voluntary, but strongly encouraged by the courts. It can reduce conflict, save time and money, and often results in better outcomes for both parties.
What to expect at Divorce Mediation
The mediation process typically follows these stages:
- Initial MIAM appointment – This is a solo meeting where the mediator explains the process.
- Joint mediation sessions – If both parties agree to proceed, sessions are scheduled.
- Information and disclosure – Each party provides financial documents (see Financial Consent Order).
- Discussion and negotiation – The mediator facilitates conversations to help find mutually agreeable solutions.
- Written agreement – The mediator may prepare a summary of proposals. This can be turned into a legally binding order.
Mediation can take place face-to-face or online, and either method can be effective. If one party refuses to participate, mediation cannot continue—but you can still proceed with a court application using the MIAM certificate.
Mediators are impartial and everything discussed is confidential. Learn more about family mediation here>
How long does Divorce Mediation take?
The duration of mediation for divorce varies, but most couples resolve matters within 2 to 5 sessions. Each session lasts around 90 minutes.
Factors that affect the timeline include:
- Complexity of issues (e.g. financial arrangements, children)
- Willingness of both parties to cooperate
- Availability of documentation
Compared to court proceedings—which can take several months or even over a year—mediation is often significantly faster.
How much does Divorce Mediation cost in the UK?
Divorce Mediation costs vary depending on location and provider, but typically:
- MIAM: £120 per person
- Mediation sessions: £140- 160 per hour, per person
You can view a detailed cost comparison in our family mediation vs. court costs guide.
Some may qualify for Legal Aid, which can cover the full cost of mediation. However, availability has decreased in recent years, so it’s worth checking your eligibility early.
You can also learn who pays for mediation in our related article.
Does Divorce Mediation Work?
Yes—divorce mediation often works, especially when both parties are open to compromise. According to the Family Mediation Council, over 70% of mediation cases reach a full or partial agreement.
Success depends on:
- Willingness to engage
- Skilled mediation
- Clear communication
It’s not about “winning” but reaching a practical solution both sides can accept. Even in high-conflict cases (like divorcing a narcissist), mediation can work when approached strategically—read more on negotiating with a narcissist.
Can you Divorce without a Mediator?
Yes, you can divorce without using a mediator, but in most cases, you’ll still need to attend a MIAM first to get the required certificate.
Exemptions apply in situations involving:
- Domestic abuse
- Child protection concerns
- Urgency
- Existing agreements
Skipping mediation entirely may lead to higher costs, longer delays, and increased conflict—so it’s worth exploring unless there’s a valid reason not to.
Conclusion
Divorce mediation in the UK is a practical and often preferable alternative to court. While you don’t always need a mediator for divorce, most couples will benefit from at least considering it through the MIAM process.
Mediation can:
- Save time and money
- Reduce stress and conflict
- Help you stay in control of the outcome
If you’re ready to take the next step, explore our family mediation services or get in touch for a confidential chat.
